It’s from pain that we grow, the deeper we fall the more we can rise.
When something so dearly important to you is happening, becoming a reality, unfolding before your eyes but you just can not touch it.
You start looking deeper inside yourself, and ask yourself why?!
Why is this happening to me?!
You stay in the frustration for a while, get a bit angry, get a bit sad, then you realise that it’s just another step in your personal growth.
A feeling you must experience in order to develop yourself and have a better understanding to life as a whole.
Not just that specific magic that unfold in front of your eyes for a short window of time and vanished, like it never happened before and can never happen again.
On September 11th 2024 I broke my meniscus with a bucket handle tear which is the worse case for a meniscus, got a surgery with an extensive recovery time of at least 6 month.
(I did surf after 3 month and had some of the most spiritual surf experience of my life on Tahiti, but that’s another story.)
I was in such a deep pain, I couldn’t stand on my leg for the first month.
I was so high on pain killers that I lost touch with reality.
When I finally woke up from that and decided to drop all medication, I started taking it as a lesson and a calling to be able to focus on something else in life which is not surfing.
All my life, my main focus was the next swell, the next turn, and for the last years, mostly the next barrel. It’s what fulfilled me the most.
At least that’s what I thought…
I was enjoying the rehabilitation process and started to develop interest in different things in life.
Man! There’s a whole world out there which is not surfing! and I like it.
When I was a child/teenager I always thought that people who don’t surf got no meaning for life, but I was too young to know.
After almost 6 month, towards to end of march 2025 I knew that I can go surf again soon and felt strong, I didn’t want to risk surfing for an average day and waited for a special forecast so it will be ‘worth it’.
I dreamed of that moment when I am back on the board just pulling into a barrel and not moving, be what it be.
I got to the beach and I was so excited to see that the waves are so great and a lot better than it looks from the check point.
I even had with me a knee brace that should protect my knee and limit the risk.
It was sunshine, glass, no wind, over head barrels, one of the best days I have seen in Denmark ever.
A few good friends in the water sharing the moment in disbelief.
Jonas just got back from a surf trip and the best waves he have seen are right here right now, smiling from one ear to the other.
”Brother, this is life man!, we are so lucky! and right here at home!” He told me.
Kasper was game on, like always, ready for whatever comes his way!
”There’s actually some really good ones coming through, and its so clean!” he said super relaxed but still excited.
When I paddled out I was in shock, blackout, blockage, whatever you want to call it. I just didn’t dare taking off and pulling backside to the tube because I was so scared of even the thought of leaning into my knee for a little bit.
I am watching the waves rolling to me one after the other and I just wouldn’t go, that was when I start thinking, well, maybe Im not ready yet. But why now? these are the prettiest barrels I have seen and I finally got the chance to catch it. I am at the right place at the right time. I must go! This opportunity isn’t something you get often, especially not in Denmark.
I reset, I took the knee brace off, I talked to Vahine, she said it’s all in your mind. You can do it, feel it, but take care.
I went out again, seeing Jonas and Kasper getting the best waves they ever got in Denmark, I was happy for them. They are not just some of the nicest people you will ever meet, they are also the two guys who always been there charging with me at this type of waves and pushing the limit. It was their day!
I was begging myself to catch one, just one, i decided to go for it. I was at the perfect position, at the perfect place, I went for the wave, took off, I was going to set the line… but then, blockage! no! my brain screamed: ‘do not lean into the knee!!’
And just like that, I watched maybe the best wave of the day unfolding empty before my eyes.
The waves dropped, the magic vanished like never existed, it was over. I missed the opportunity.
I left with my head in my hands. There haven’t been a day like day again since, I am still waiting.
That morning, I was sure that the recovery is over and Im about to get barrelled, so little I knew that the hardest lesson was still ahead of me.
At my lowest moment after the surf I was devastated. Then I let go, or in other words, Vahine woke me up and reminded me that its all part of the bigger plan and now it’s time to drive to another spot and do some basic turns to recover from that traumatic experience I just had.
We went on to another spot with softer right handers where I could just cruise and do some turns to feel myself again. It was a healing session. A recovery start. A light at the end of the barrel I didn’t get.
A reminder that people who doesn’t surf also have meaning in life, but people who do surf, find most of meaning in life via surfing itself.
So it’s time to for me to find the balance, enjoy and explore life’s many perspectives combined with being the surfer who find meaning, love and happiness by riding waves.
This story was sitting in my heart for almost a year now and it feels so good to have it finally written down.
I am Ready for the next surf and life adventure.
Mor.
A photo and a short caption on social media can only express a fraction of the feeling behind the story.
This blog is where I can slow down, go deeper, and return to reflect on the experiences that shaped me.
I’ve surfed for 35 years and spent decades exploring the Danish wild coast, chasing moments in the harshest conditions — and I intend to keep going.
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